A shimmering rainbow in the woods. A bridge of color and
light between here and there. In Nors mythology, Bifrost is a rainbow bridge
made of fire, water and air. It is the pathway that connects the mundane
world we live in with Asgard, the world of the gods. As children drew
rainbows during the Pandemic to bridge us from the challenge of that time into
one of hope, we can use the image of the rainbow, or anything in nature that speaks to us, to link us from
wherever we are into the present moment.
Beauty
especially occurs in the meeting of time with the timeless; the passing
moment framed by what has happened and what is about to occur, the
scattering of the first spring apple blossom, the turning, spiraling
flight of a curled leaf in the falling light; the smoothing of white
sun-filled sheets by careful hands setting them to air on a line, for
the broad expanse of cotton filled by the breeze only for a moment, the
sheets sailing on into dryness, billowing toward a future that is always
beckoning, always just beyond us. Beauty is the harvest of presence.
~ David Whyte, Consolations
The Vijnana Bhairva Tantra, an
ancient Sanskrit text, describes 112 ways to enter into the universal
and transcendental state of consciousness - into presence. One of my favorites
is the wonder and awe I find in the natural world: rainbows, fall colors, sunsets,
snow crystals, a weed poking it's way through cement, ladybugs and flowers. Where ever I look and pay attention, beauty
is there. In yoga, we use our bodies in
the shape of poses to create a bridge to connect us to the beauty that exists
outside as well as inside us. Yoga invites
us to the harvest of presence, here
and now. So much beauty awaits our attention.
Thanksgiving is a reminder of our capacity
to move into the wonder and awe of all that is around us and that we are part
of. A fellow yoga teacher shared inspiration
from Dr. Roland Griffiths, the founder of the Johns Hopkins Center for
Psychedelic and Consciousness Research and a pioneer in studying the
therapeutic potential of psilocybin. He recently passed away at 77. Oprah interviewed him four months before his
death. He expressed such joy, wonder and
awe at life and the mystery of being here.
He said he has never felt more gratitude or equipoise than at this time
in his life (after his terminal diagnosis). Watch the interview here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZJ8bz_KkFw.
As I look out my window at the profusion of all fall colors, the incredible beauty around me, I want to share a poem written by my
brother-in-law, Barry Klassel, and how we each have the opportunity, every day,
in every moment, to be fully awake to the awe and gratitude of life. Read the full poem below.
I can’t wait
‘Til each day is as ordinary as a wedding
As momentous as taking a breath
Photo courtesy Herb Benkel taken 11.3.23 at Shree
Certain holidays and life events awaken us to what is already here. Why wait for these? Or, for a terminal diagnosis? Griffiths wishes to explore: “The
benevolelnt mystery of what it is to exist.” Let's practice marrying the day and awaken to each breath as momentous and precious, full of wonder, gratitude and awe. Happy Thanksgiving every single day.
I, Alone
No one beside me
No soothing touch
Rootless and restless
I’ve lost the way
To consecrate this day
Television, not my vision
Breakfast, cold spoon in cold cereal
Chair, table, mug, tepid tea
I let the water run endlessly
Dip my hand, splash my face
I, alone, in the whole human race
What to propose?
I will marry this day before me
So each step’s down the aisle toward my lover
What is my lover’s name?
The same. the same
Each deed a ceremony, for better or worse, for sickness, health
Beauty is the
harvest of presence, the evanescent moment of seeing or hearing on the outside
what largely lives far inside us…
~ David Whyte,
Consolations
I love this: "Beauty is the harvest of presence." As I sat outside one Sunday afternoon listening to the birds, feeling the sweet
air against my face, watching the fall leaves wafting down, seeing people out walking
and my husband pottering in the garden, I felt invited into presence. The world
called me to attend: to see, to hear, to listen, to smell and to feel. Attention reveals the beauty that is always
here. It’s the way we step fully into life, both inner life and outer life.
And yet, our attention is called away by our devices, social media,
distractions all around us that move away from what is happening in this
moment.
Whyte continues…the
eyes, the ears or the imagination suddenly become a bridge between the here and
the there, between then and now, between the inside and the outside; beauty is
the conversation between what we think is happening outside in the world and
what is just about to occur far inside us.
Our yoga and meditation practice is about cultivating presence.
When we get on the mat we are invited to
pay attention to our breath, to the movements, sensations, muscle action and
our inner world which we often miss in our busy, often distracted lives.Practicing on the mat then lends itself to
practice off the mat. Yoga off the mat is about being present with whatever
shows up each day: the easy and the hard. It's about witnessing the outstanding
acts of human kindness and generosity as people step forward to help in big
ways and small. It’s about noticing the wonder and awe of the mystery of this
world.
Let's pay attention to nature
unfolding the season all around us, to humanity's goodness, and to our own
inner strength and beauty as we strive forward with our lives.
Well it's been a minute. I had so much to say about this topic that I decided it needed to exist in the blogosphere. Let's unpack what it means to step out of your comfort zone. The details are
different for everyone, but I think it basically means to not always
default to what’s “easy”. So what’s wrong with being comfortable? Really
nothing. And let's start this whole conversation by saying that if life, as it is wont to do, is pushing you into places of great discomfort, you don’t need to
do anything else, you just need to hold on tight to your faith and go along for
the ride. What I'm talking about here are the ways we become stagnant.Since the universe itself is in a constant
state of process, if we are not participating with it in the ways that we are able to, one day we wake up
and realize we’re stuck. And to get out of that stuck place takes SO much more
effort in the long run.
Consider this a hint if you're coming to my class this week...
The universe
has given us endless ways to know it and experience it and explore its beauty.
But it requires our participation. Stepping out of your CZ means stepping into the
unknown. Whether that’s rock climbing a new route, or hiking a new mountain, or a
going to a new place to vacation, or going on a silent retreat, or joining a new book club, it requires us to be
vulnerable, and that is usually not a comfortable place. It takes faith. Not
blind faith where we go in with eyes closed just praying for the best, but the kind where we follow our hearts and take our heads along for the ride.
The Sanskrit word for faith is shraddha, and one generally accepted translation of that word is "where you place your heart".
In other words, know what you want. And if something that you want is outside of your CZ, know what you are willing to risk to have it. Know your capacities and your limitations and act accordingly. But that is a
razors edge, and there’s no promise that it won’t hurt. Faith is knowing that it won’t hurt so much that you can’t come back
from it. It’s being able to stay connected to what keeps you steady through it all.
Recently I watched the rock climber Adam Ondra sending Silence, the “world’s hardest route”. It literally created a new grade of climb that didn't exist before. It took him hundreds of times and years to do it. Falling off again and again.If he read all those falls as “failure” there is no way
he ever would have done it. Stepping out of our CZ is accepting small “failures” to
figure out how to do it better next time. Failure is a word we use to give
ourselves an out. "Oh, I tried that thing and because it didn’t go exactly as I
wanted it to, it didn’t feel as easy as it “should have”, I can’t do that
thing." And the reality is that maybe you can’t do that thing today, but that
doesn’t mean you’ll never be able to do it. So what are the steps to take so
you can do it in a year? Or 2 years? Tiny victories feed shraddha. Change your
expectation of what progress is. In yoga, for example, if you
can’t do the pose, examine where your inconsistencies are, your tight places,
your self-limiting thoughts and decide what tiny victory you can focus on to
keep moving you forward. Because that’s just it. Life will move you forward
whether you participate or not. So might as well decide what direction you want
to go in.
If you need some inspiration, watch Adam climb this route the whole way through for the first time.
Stepping out of our
CZ tests our faith: can I really do this?Am I meant to do it? Really that’s up to you. Sometimes the answer is
not ever, sometimes it’s just not right now. We are limited beings in some ways
and we are unlimited beings in other ways. We need to be realistic about the
ways we are limited, whether in body or spirit, and face them. But we get to
decide if we want to be connected to the places where we are limited or the places
where we aren’t. It means redefining “failure”. It means falling off a route 100 times before
making the next move. Falling out of an arm balance 1000 times before being able to hold it for a second. Getting a therapist so you can work through your social
anxiety so you can join the book club. It’s not easy or comfortable, and like
my kids love to say, “it’s not fair!”. To which I respond, "who ever told you it
was going to be fair??" It’s not. But we
can either sit by and let life happen to us (ie. stay in stagnant in the CZ) or we can
participate fully in every way we can (step into your light, celebrate tiny victories, hold steady through the challenges life throws at us which we have no control over).
In terms of
our yoga asana practice, we know that the body will always want to go in the path of least
resistance. Our bodies will always choose to do what feels good, and unless we are being very conscious in our practice we will go along with that.Again, nothing innately wrong with doing that, and
sometimes that is just the thing to do - pain is a message that we need to pay attention to something. However, if we always do what we’ve
always done, we always get what we’ve always gotten. Patterns of misalignment which lead
to imbalance and often pain will keep repeating themselves until we create a
new pattern. It's usually not easy and not
comfortable.But we are healthier,
happier, stronger, and more resilient in the long run. It works the same with our thoughts, our emotions, our
hearts. And that's what makes it all yoga - being conscious.
It's fun and interesting out here outside the CZ. It's never boring, always exciting. Join me.
Outside your CZ practices, on the mat:
This week in my classes we will work on caturanga, building strength in our upper body to lean out into arm balances with faith. Here's some other things to work on in your own practice:
Notice when you sit out a pose because it's hard. Instead of sitting it out, try a modified version.
If you've been doing a modified version of a pose for a long time for a specific reason, ask yourself if that reason is still valid. You know what to do if it's not.
Breathe. a lot. If you're scared, breathe deeper.
Pay attention to your habits. Do you come in to the studio and do the same warm-ups every time? Do you strategically stop for a sip of water when a hard pose is called? Are your habits keeping you stagnant?
Get really curious. If you can't do a pose, ask yourself, or your teacher, why?
Celebrate tiny victories in whatever way they come
Outside your CZ practices, off the mat:
Take yourself on a weekly date doing something that scares you. Start small. Bring a friend for support. But do it!
Create a mantra or affirmation that reminds you that stepping outside of your CZ will help you grow as a human. "I can do hard things" works for me.
Get clear with yourself about what risks you are willing to take, and which ones you are not, to have something you want that feels out of your reach.
Add your own in the comments!
For the Anusara junkies:
OTG: Soften
what the word failure means to you. Focus on tiny victories.
What keeps you
steady in times of discomfort? Keep that in the forefront of your awareness
Let each breath
guide you to a place inside of inner reliance, where you feel secure and
connected to a universe that wants for you what you want for yourself
Get comfortable
with “I don’t know” and “All I need to do is participate”
Stop trying to
control your world and participate fully in your life without knowing what the outcome will be
ME: pull to
the midline and pull into what keeps you steady
Pull up and
into your faith/what keeps you steady/your heart
Muscles are
malleable, changeable, bones are not.We
pull SMB (skin to muscle to bone) to connect to all that is already steady inside our bodies
Activate muscles,
participate in the pose fully, in your life fully
Draw SMB, connecting
to a place of wisdom inside so you make smart choices about how to safely step outside your CZ
OE: expand fully
into the pose and expand your CZ
Stretch yourself
fully into the pose and the breath and into active participation with your life
just as it is
Expand from
midline outwards, expanding your faith in yourself and your practice
Shine with the
quiet radiance of the faithful
Smile and enjoy
the pose, even if it’s not easy or comfortable
Celebrate whatever
form of the pose you can do. Celebrate tiny victories that will strengthen you
and move you in the direction you want to be headed.
To be courageous is
not necessarily to go anywhere or do anything except to make conscious those
things we already feel deeply and then to live through the unending vulnerabilities
of those consequences.
~David Whyte,
Consolations
One of the vignettes on One World Stay at Home concert last Saturday
was of a 66 year old retired doctor who has chosen to leave retirment, put her scrubs back on
and return to work at the hospital treating Covid-19 patients.She felt deeply what was in her heart and has
made herself highly vulnerable to the consequences.
Courage is expressed in physical acts like those of all our
frontline essential works who put themselves at risk every day.It is also in the willingness to feel our
hearts deeply: pain, fear, grief, love.To feel and then to act, even if that action is simply getting out of bed
and doing another day at home in lock down.
In Sanskrit the word for heart is Hrdaya.While this refers to
our beating physical hearts, it also refers to the heart of the world, the
essence and core of anything and all things. Yoga teaches us that when we allow
ourselves to rest back in our heart and all that we find therein, we ultimately
rest back in the heart of all things.This
is yoga off the mat, where we connect to all beings through our vulnerability
and willingness to feel.
Allowing ourselves to feel deeply is scary.I find it terrifying.That’s why I love this hand gesture: Abhaya
Hrdaya Mudra or Courageous Heart Gesture.A mudra is a seal, a mark or a gesture, a calling forth of what we
aspire to.I don’t know about you, but I
need a lot of courage these days.
Join me at 12:15 pm today for a FREE meditation on
cultivating our courageous hearts and learn the mudra with me.
Vicissitude. I had to look this word up! It's a good word
for right now. "A change of circumstances or fortune, typically one that
is unwelcome or unpleasant." There is such drastic change of circumstance
happening at the moment; changes that are external to us and not in our
control. And, changes that are internal to us that maybe within our control.David Whyte writes:
Conscious or unconscious, we are surrounded not only by the
vicissitudes of a difficult world but even more by those of our own making.
One way to think about gaining some control over those of
our own making is the map which the philosophical yogic concept of the five Koshas
offers.According to this map, we are
composed of five layers, sheaths, or bodies. Like Russian dolls, each
metaphorical "body" is contained within the next:
Annamaya kosha—the physical body or food body
Pranamaya kosha—the breath or life force body
Manomaya kosha—the mental and emotional body
Vijanamaya kosha—the wisdom body
Anandamaya kosha—the bliss body
Each of these sheaths is impacted by the vicissitudes of our
current situation in different ways.Our
physical bodies might be feeling stress, exhaustion, fight or flight, and so
on. Our energy Pranic body might be feeling short of breath and lacking in vitality. Our mental bodies might be feeling
fear, despair, hope, and so on. We can
take heart from understanding that we are not just one of these sheaths that we
might be indentifying with at a given time.We are all of them.They are all
part of us. And, we are more, for these are all sheaths that cover the essence of the Self, the Atman, the heart of our essential nature.
When we are able to perceive
ourselves as more than a single part, and know that we are an unchanging
essence that lives at the center of all five, we can craft an identity for
ourselves that can enable us to live in the world we find ourselves in without
feeling beset. Rather, we can understand
the parts and through them, understand the whole.
Follow your yoga and meditation practice into the heart and
essence of your identity and find an inner steadiness at the center.You are all of it and all of it is you.
By Rachel Dewan The saddest day
of the year in my house is always the last day of summer camp.My children come home, crying big tears and
chest-heaving sobs. And what I always say to them is “I know this feels bad,
but it just means that you had so much love all summer.”
Big emotions can
be hard to manage and to know what to do with.Anger is one of the emotions that has been coming up for me during these
challenging weeks of quarantine, but reading David Whyte’s unpacking of what
anger actually is has been super helpful. He writes:
“ANGER is the
deepest form of compassion, the purest form of care, it always illuminates what
we belong to, what we wish to protect and what we are willing to hazard
ourselves for. What we have named as anger on the surface is the violent outer
response to our own inner powerlessness, a powerlessness connected to such a
profound sense of rawness and vulnerability that it can find no proper identity
or voice, or way of life to hold it. What we call anger is often simply the
unwillingness to live the full measure of our fears or of our not knowing.”
He then writes “Our
anger breaks to the surface most often through our feeling that there is
something profoundly wrong with our powerlessness and vulnerability.” Tantra
teaches that there are no “bad” emotions. Emotions
just are, and when we learn to recognize them when they arise, and pay
attention to what causes them to arise, they simply become another gateway to the
Source. Anger is not wrong, nor is fear or vulnerability or sadness even though they
may be uncomfortable for a time. If you feel any of these strong emotions it is
not a failure, it just means you are human. It’s not that we have strong
feelings, but what we do them that defines who we are. And whether the emotion
is anger, sadness, fear, hurt, joy, compassion, generosity, at the root of all
of it is love.
Yoga gives us
the chance to sit and be with the vulnerability and the powerlessness in a safe
way. To be with ourselves in our most raw and open state, which we are able to
do because we are surrounded by a community that holds the space for us to do
that. This remote yet connected way of practicing as we have been online during
these weeks of Covid19 gives us an even more unique opportunity - to be in
community and yet also alone in the safety of our own homes so we can truly
allow ourselves to be vulnerable and befriend our powerlessness.
I see a lot of
people preaching “love over fear” right now.While on a broad level I do believe that, I also think there is great
danger in the spiritual bypass. It is important to feel all the feels (but also
to let them go when we are able to). Feeling fear doesn’t make you an
unsuccessful yogi.Feeling anger either.
And anyone who tells you they aren’t feeling those things right now is likely not being honest with you, or more likely with themselves. I am feeling those
things, but also feeling grateful, inspired, supported, and loved at the same
time.One doesn’t eclipse the other, and
the most grounded and healthy people I know are the ones who understand this. I’d like to replace the “love over fear” refrain with the words of Marc Gafni
who says: "In a world
of outrageous pain, the only response is outrageous love."
