Courageous Hearts

To be courageous is not necessarily to go anywhere or do anything except to make conscious those things we already feel deeply and then to live through the unending vulnerabilities of those consequences.  

~David Whyte, Consolations

One of the vignettes on One World Stay at Home concert last Saturday was of a 66 year old retired doctor who has chosen to leave retirment, put her scrubs back on and return to work at the hospital treating Covid-19 patients.  She felt deeply what was in her heart and has made herself highly vulnerable to the consequences.

Courage is expressed in physical acts like those of all our frontline essential works who put themselves at risk every day.  It is also in the willingness to feel our hearts deeply: pain, fear, grief, love.  To feel and then to act, even if that action is simply getting out of bed and doing another day at home in lock down.

In Sanskrit the word for heart is Hrdaya. While this refers to our beating physical hearts, it also refers to the heart of the world, the essence and core of anything and all things. Yoga teaches us that when we allow ourselves to rest back in our heart and all that we find therein, we ultimately rest back in the heart of all things.  This is yoga off the mat, where we connect to all beings through our vulnerability and willingness to feel.

Allowing ourselves to feel deeply is scary.  I find it terrifying.  That’s why I love this hand gesture: Abhaya Hrdaya Mudra or Courageous Heart Gesture.  A mudra is a seal, a mark or a gesture, a calling forth of what we aspire to.  I don’t know about you, but I need a lot of courage these days. 

Join me at 12:15 pm today for a FREE meditation on cultivating our courageous hearts and learn the mudra with me.  

If you miss the meditation, here’s SiannaSherman demonstrating how to do it.

Love, 

Chaya

Vicissitudes and Koshas

By Chaya Spencer

Vicissitude. I had to look this word up! It's a good word for right now. "A change of circumstances or fortune, typically one that is unwelcome or unpleasant." There is such drastic change of circumstance happening at the moment; changes that are external to us and not in our control. And, changes that are internal to us that maybe within our control.  David Whyte writes: 

Conscious or unconscious, we are surrounded not only by the vicissitudes of a difficult world but even more by those of our own making.

One way to think about gaining some control over those of our own making is the map which the philosophical yogic concept of the five Koshas offers.  According to this map, we are composed of five layers, sheaths, or bodies. Like Russian dolls, each metaphorical "body" is contained within the next:

Annamaya kosha—the physical body or food body

Pranamaya kosha—the breath or life force body

Manomaya kosha—the mental and emotional body

Vijanamaya kosha—the wisdom body

Anandamaya kosha—the bliss body

Each of these sheaths is impacted by the vicissitudes of our current situation in different ways.  Our physical bodies might be feeling stress, exhaustion, fight or flight, and so on.  Our energy Pranic body might be feeling short of breath and lacking in vitality. Our mental bodies might be feeling fear, despair, hope, and so on.  We can take heart from understanding that we are not just one of these sheaths that we might be indentifying with at a given time.  We are all of them.  They are all part of us.  And, we are more, for these are all sheaths that cover the essence of the Self, the Atman, the heart of our essential nature.

When we are able to perceive ourselves as more than a single part, and know that we are an unchanging essence that lives at the center of all five, we can craft an identity for ourselves that can enable us to live in the world we find ourselves in without feeling beset.  Rather, we can understand the parts and through them, understand the whole. 

Follow your yoga and meditation practice into the heart and essence of your identity and find an inner steadiness at the center.  You are all of it and all of it is you.

Outrageous Love

By Rachel Dewan

The saddest day of the year in my house is always the last day of summer camp.  My children come home, crying big tears and chest-heaving sobs. And what I always say to them is “I know this feels bad, but it just means that you had so much love all summer.”

Big emotions can be hard to manage and to know what to do with.  Anger is one of the emotions that has been coming up for me during these challenging weeks of quarantine, but reading David Whyte’s unpacking of what anger actually is has been super helpful. He writes:

“ANGER is the deepest form of compassion, the purest form of care, it always illuminates what we belong to, what we wish to protect and what we are willing to hazard ourselves for. What we have named as anger on the surface is the violent outer response to our own inner powerlessness, a powerlessness connected to such a profound sense of rawness and vulnerability that it can find no proper identity or voice, or way of life to hold it. What we call anger is often simply the unwillingness to live the full measure of our fears or of our not knowing.”

He then writes “Our anger breaks to the surface most often through our feeling that there is something profoundly wrong with our powerlessness and vulnerability.” Tantra teaches that there are no “bad” emotions. Emotions just are, and when we learn to recognize them when they arise, and pay attention to what causes them to arise, they simply become another gateway to the Source. Anger is not wrong, nor is fear or vulnerability or sadness even though they may be uncomfortable for a time. If you feel any of these strong emotions it is not a failure, it just means you are human. It’s not that we have strong feelings, but what we do them that defines who we are. And whether the emotion is anger, sadness, fear, hurt, joy, compassion, generosity, at the root of all of it is love.

Yoga gives us the chance to sit and be with the vulnerability and the powerlessness in a safe way. To be with ourselves in our most raw and open state, which we are able to do because we are surrounded by a community that holds the space for us to do that. This remote yet connected way of practicing as we have been online during these weeks of Covid19 gives us an even more unique opportunity - to be in community and yet also alone in the safety of our own homes so we can truly allow ourselves to be vulnerable and befriend our powerlessness.

I see a lot of people preaching “love over fear” right now.  While on a broad level I do believe that, I also think there is great danger in the spiritual bypass. It is important to feel all the feels (but also to let them go when we are able to). Feeling fear doesn’t make you an unsuccessful yogi.  Feeling anger either. And anyone who tells you they aren’t feeling those things right now is likely not being honest with you, or more likely with themselves. I am feeling those things, but also feeling grateful, inspired, supported, and loved at the same time.  One doesn’t eclipse the other, and the most grounded and healthy people I know are the ones who understand this.  

I’d like to replace the “love over fear” refrain with the words of Marc Gafni who says: "In a world of outrageous pain, the only response is outrageous love."

My Yoga in the Time of Corona

Everywhere I turn there is fear.  Every person, every media channel, every conversation seems infused with alarm.  It is a fearful time.  I’m scared.  I’m afraid for the health of my loved ones, my students, my business.  I’m afraid for our economy, our society, our sense of community if we become isolated. 

I know I have a choice.  I can let the dread overwhelm me and dictate my actions and reactions.  Sometimes it does.  Or, I can use my practices to try and steady myself so I can make the best choices and respond in the best way I can.

What am I doing to help myself?

·    I’m doing yoga at the studio
·        I’m meditating each morning
·        I’m breathing deep
·        I’m taking walks
·        I’m living one day at a time

I’m working to remember what I teach: that I am more than my body, my health and my attachments.   I’m inviting peace into myself so that I can hold space for the Shree community whether we end up practicing at the studio, at home, or through an online forum. 

Let’s use our practices to decrease panic and increase peace together in the Time of Corona. 

With love,

Chaya

p.s. Remember, if you decide to attend public classes at Shree:

• Wash your hands well  in the restrooms before entering the studio
• Leave “virus talk” outside so Shree can be a place of ease and peace for all
• Bring a hand towel and pillow case to cover the bolster and blankets for restorative classes
• Bring a hand towel to cover blankets, wash cloths to cover blocks, bring your own props
• Weekend classes are often crowded.  Come to a weeknight class instead.

My Yoga Story by Doreen Cosenza

Several years ago I hurt my right hip. I had a bad habit of getting out of my car by placing my left foot on the ground and then twisting my right leg and "dragging " it out. Eventually, like all bad habits, it took its toll. The leg became stiff and, instead of exercising, I favored it. It kept deteriorating and arthritis stepped in to hasten the decline.  I began to walk with a limp. I had terrible balance; I couldn't stand on either leg long enough to get a pants leg on. After falling down the stairs because my right leg wouldn't support me, I resigned myself to going up and down on just my left leg. The leg became even weaker and, if I could manage to get up out of a chair, I would have to hobble over to something to lean on and try to straighten it out since it remained bent as if I were still sitting.  

"I imagined my future sitting in a wheelchair. "

What could I do?! I had to fight back! But, how?  I couldn't walk or ride a bike. Forget about going to the gym for more strenuous exercise!

              

In the spring of 2018, on my way to a craft store, I saw a YOGA sign. I didn't know anything about yoga except if I got down on the floor, I was going to have the devil of a time getting back up. I didn't do anything about it but that YOGA sign kept "poking" me. Sometimes life truly does give you a “sign”; you just have to be willing to see it.

              

By the time I decided to come to Shree Yoga in Saddle River, NJ that fall, I had no cartilage in my right hip and I was in pain 24/7. I knew I was facing hip replacement surgery but wasn't brave enough to deal with that yet. I signed up for, not one, but two chair yoga classes a week. Of course, yoga couldn't heal my leg; this isn't a fairy tale. However, it could and did improve my balance, the strength of my leg, my overall muscle tone, flexibility and feeling of well-being. Yes, chair yoga! And when I faced my hip surgery in the summer of 2019, it definitely helped with my recovery and physical therapy.

               

To say that I am grateful to my chair yoga teachers, Susan Walsh and Jan Jeremias, is an understatement.  I cannot thank them enough for their professionalism, encouragement and support.  To date I have had several teachers at Shree Yoga: Rachel, Terry, Emi and Valerie -- they have all been wonderful. These are people that not only want to help you learn yoga to the best of their ability but see you as an individual and honestly care about your welfare.

               

Recently I have moved out of my chair classes and into gentle therapeutic and other more challenging classes. There are things my right leg is never going to do. That's just the nature of things for me.  I still have a balance "issue"; it doesn't come easily for me. There's still plenty of room for improvement, but I try to do my best in my classes and my Shree Yoga teachers are there to help, encourage and support me in my journey.

              

"ShreeYoga Studios has made such a wonderful difference in my Life. It has improved the quality of my life so much for the better; how many things can you say that about?"

             

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I sincerely hope it makes a difference and helps someone.

Doreen Cosenza

     See Shree’s full schedule of classes.

     Do you have a story you’d like to share?  Email it to Chaya@shreeyoga.com for consideration.

On the Guru

In 7^th grade I had a beloved teacher, Mr. Gittler. He was my social studies teacher and was the first to introduce me to eastern philosophy, which was part of the curriculum at my school, but was also a topic that was dear to his heart so he taught it with joy and excitement.  After studying with him for some time, I came home from school and told my conservative and observant Jewish mother that I thought I was actually a Hindu.  Needless to say, it was not so well received at the time (although to her credit, she came around). Fast forward 10 years and I married a Hindu, but that’s another story for another day. 

The third word of the Anusara invocation is gurave, which comes from the root word guru. Guru is traditionally defined most simply as a teacher, but usually understood as a spiritual guide or mentor. If we break the word down even more we get gu = darkness, and ru = removal; from this we understand that the guru is that which removes the darkness of ignorance and helps to reveal the light of awareness. In Tantric yoga one way we understand this is through the guru tattva (or principle). My teacher Todd Norian teaches that the guru is the wisdom that has flowed through all time and space from the Absolute. The guru is simply the vessel that that wisdom happens to be flowing through in that moment.

In this way, we can understand guru to mean the process by which we are led from darkness to light, ignorance to knowledge, from our limited human awareness to the unlimited awareness of consciousness. So the guru doesn't necessarily have to be a person or a teacher in the form of a human. The guru can be a good friend or family member, a particular situation that caused a shift in your life, a transformative experience, an injury, a heartbreak; really anything the leads to a deeper understanding of the wisdom that already exists inside of you. The late, great Ram Das said “If you know how to listen, everyone is the guru.” I can speak for myself when I say that I often look outside of myself for advice, guidance, and  wisdom. Yet when I think back to my most influential “teachers” they were the ones who guided me to my own inner wisdom, to a latent knowing deep inside that was ready and longing to be awakened and remembered.

What was most profound to me way back in 7^th grade was not that I was learning something “new”, although in a way I was. What led me to come home and make my angina-inducing declaration to my mother was that I felt like what I had always known to be true in my own heart had finally been given a vocabulary. It was as if Mr. Gittler gave voice to my innermost thoughts and feelings that I hadn’t previously been able to name or categorize or even fully understand until that moment. It felt like my very existence was being validated. It was the same feeling I had when I met my husband: oh, I know you. You’ve been here in my heart all along.

The two words that precede gurave in the Anusara invocation are namah shivaya. The word namah means adoration, homage, or respect. It is the root of the word namaste.  The word shivaya comes from the root shiva, meaning auspiciousness.  It is one of the words for the all-pervasive, eternal light of supreme Consciousness of which all of creation, including all of us, is made from.

So put together namah shivaya gurave says:

I bow to all of creation, all of life, as my teacher. 
I honor the flow of wisdom in the universe and I open to its teachings in any form it comes.
I pay homage to the One source of being which flows through every experience leading me from darkness to light.  

And if the Sanskrit doesn’t do it for you, you can just remember the English acronym: G-U-R-U.

 

 
Off the mat practice: Attempt to view every experience as your teacher: the car cutting you off on the highway, an argument with someone, a beautiful moment in nature or with a friend, an illness, a loss. Ask every emotion that comes with the experience what it has to teach you, why it came to you in that moment.

On the mat: Let your body be your teacher, even when you're in a class. Listen deeply to what it needs and respond in kind. Let every pose be the guru, revealing its blessings and challenges.

What I Long For

By Chaya Spencer

Listening to a podcast interview with the author of TheOverstory, Richard Powers, I am filled with a longing to experience an old growth forest.  I have a longing to feel part of something so majestic, so ancient, so alive and so….BIG.  Powers describes stepping into such a forest in the Smoky Mountains and how it was a transformative experience. He spoke of how it smelled different, sounded different, felt different. Trees there are thousands of years old.  He said, “Did I become smaller and more vulnerable, yes, but I also became larger it a Whitman-esque way. I started to contain multitudes, or they started to contain me.”  In North America, only 2-5% of old growth forest still exist.

I want to experience that I contain multitudes and that they contain me. I long to feel deeply connected and part of the whole.  The first law of thermodynamics, states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed; energy can only be transferred or changed from one form to another. Yoga philosophy teaches that the universe is one energy manifesting as all of creation.  That one energy is represented by the vibration - the sound of OM, or AUM. It has agency - the agency to create, sustain and finally dissolve all the matter back into vibration, back into energy, back into AUM.

When I think and feel that I am a simply one manifestation of a ubiquitous vibration, I begin to recognize that myself: my body, mind and spirit and everything else is sacred.  I want to step into the ancient forest and feel connection, and feel that energy that I am contained in; that huge oneness. 

In the Anusara invocation, which is taken from the Upanishads, the first line is: Om Namah Shivaya Gurave.  Nama/namas/namah is the word for salutation or praise.  It is the sense of bowing to the sacred in everything.  It is the invitation to recognize that we’re all made of the same stuff and that stuff is sacred and special and it is you and it is me.  At the rare times when I remember this, I touch my keyboard, the oak in the yard, my body, the food I eat, the dishes, my family  as  sacred. I Namah, I bow, I salute and honor it all.  Maybe I don’t need to step into the old growth forest after all.  Maybe that for which I long is right here with me.

“Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influence of the earth.”

 ~  Thoreau

If you'd like to join us at Shree for our book club, we're currently reading The Overstory for our March 15th meeting at 4:00 pm.  You are most welcome to join us.

My Indomitable Hero

By Chaya Spencer

When a heart is so fierce and committed to freedom and joy, it seems no hardship can quash it for long.  That is what I learn from our long time yoga student Herb Benkel who returned to yoga this week with his new prosthetic leg and foot after an epic journey.  A yoga practitioner of 33 years, Herb has been through the literal wringer (read Herb's story here) - through numerous surgeries attempting to save his leg, then 7 surgeries in six weeks last fall first to amputate the leg above the knee, then to remove more and more infected tissue and bone.  Without enough femur bone, a prosthesis would be impossible, and Herb would be wheelchair bound for the rest of his life.   It came down to the absolute wire with only 3- 4 inches of femur remaining - just barely enough, though not really enough, to allow for the prosthetic leg and foot.  It hasn’t been an easy journey.  There have been times of real darkness, despair, and frustration.  Yet through all of it, Herb has kept his spirit bright and strong.  He attributes his positive attitude to yoga.  I attribute it to Herb.  He has kept his heart open and rested back in the community of family, doctors, friends and the Anusara yoga community he is part of at Shree. 

1.28.20 Herb and his chair yoga class friends (photo courtesy Chair Yoga class instructor, Susan Walsh)

In Anusara yoga we practice using a system of Universal Principles of Alignment.  When I think of Herb I think of Shoulder Loop and Skull Loop. 

Shoulder Loop starts at the center of the palate and moves back and down to the bottom of the shoulder blades, then forward through base of heart and up the sternum to the palate.

Skull Loop starts at the same place as Shoulder Loop at the back of the palate, moves up the back of the skull and forward down the forehead back to the palate. 

Working together, they lengthen the back of the neck and position the head back directly on top of the spine while simultaneously keeping the chest broad, lifted and open.  When we practice these two loops in our poses as well as in our daily activates, we invite our hearts to stay open to the moment before us as well as the situation ahead. Our heads rest back on the headrest of our community and our own inner forces offering us support and strength, joy and connection.

Through countless setbacks, Herb has maintained this courageous stance towards life.  He is my hero.  I am deeply inspired and moved by him and his journey. He says it was just about survival, but he did it with such a positive, uplifted attitude and outlook.  I was amazed over and again by his stance throughout.  One of our advanced level students said she plans to attend the chair class just to be near Herb.  His positive attitude is spreading!

Yoga is an invitation to flower in our own particular way at our own particular time.  Of course, we have a choice to allow the flowering or to shut down and pull back.  Herb flowered. Will you?  Will I?  As David Whyte writes:

THE SUN

Sometimes
I look out
at everything
growing so wild
and faithfully beneath
the sky
and wonder
why we are
the one
terrible
part of creation
privileged
to refuse
our flowering.

…

THE SUN
From ‘The House of Belonging’
© David Whyte and Many Rivers Press

Am I Alone?

by Chaya Spencer

Many years ago, a local magazine was writing an article on lonliness and asked me to pose for a picture looking out over a river: a picture of being alone.  I wondered why I was asked.  Did I seem so lonely as to be the poster child for loneliness?  Actually, having grown up with a recurring feeling of having been abandoned, I have often felt alone.  David Whyte’s poem (below) “Everything is Waiting For You” resonates strongly with me for this reason.  He reminds me of the quintessential teaching of yoga: we are not alone; we are part and parcel of a great whole; we are one with all that is.  While these teachings can sound like an abstraction, I find great solace in the practice of yoga that enables me to soften my sense of alone-ness and connect into the “grand array”.  In those moments I am not alone on a profound level which has nothing to do with how many people are with or around me. My sense of self expands beyond my strengths and weaknesses, my personality and shame. I am fulfilled and content just with myself.  It is that experience which I long for.

In our classes this week at Shree, we’re teaching two Universal Principles of Alignment, Kidney Loop and Shoulder Loop, which invite us to soften into and open up to that larger whole. 

Kidney Loop: starts in core of abdomen in line with the middle of the lumbar and spot just below the navel. It is an energetic flow that moves up the back from just below the kidneys to the bottom of the shoulder blades, forward through top of the diaphragm (heart focal point) to base of the sternum, then down the solar plexus to just below the navel.

Shoulder loop: starts at center of the palate (skull focal point). It is an energetic flow that moves down the back of the neck and upper back to bottom of the shoulder blades, forward through the bottom of the heart and the top of the diaphragm, then up the chest and throat from base of the sternum to the palate.

The invitation of these loops is to soften and open the back body towards the experience of connection and inclusion while opening up the chest and heart to embrace what shows up.  As Whyte writes: Put down the weight of your aloneness and ease into the conversation.  Below is his poem in its entirety.  I hope it helps all of us feel more connected and less alone.  Join us in class to practice these principles and explore what it could mean in your life to know you are not alone and everything is waiting for you.

Love,

Chaya

Everything Is Waiting For You

David Whyte

Your great mistake is to act the drama
as if you were alone. As if life
were a progressive and cunning crime
with no witness to the tiny hidden
transgressions. To feel abandoned is to deny
the intimacy of your surroundings. Surely,
even you, at times, have felt the grand array;
the swelling presence, and the chorus, crowding
out your solo voice. You must note
the way the soap dish enables you,
or the window latch grants you freedom.
Alertness is the hidden discipline of familiarity.
The stairs are your mentor of things
to come, the doors have always been there
to frighten you and invite you,
and the tiny speaker in the phone
is your dream-ladder to divinity.

Put down the weight of your aloneness and ease into the
conversation. The kettle is singing
even as it pours you a drink, the cooking pots
have left their arrogant aloofness and
seen the good in you at last. All the birds
and creatures of the world are unutterably
themselves. Everything is waiting for you.