By Rachel Dewan
The saddest day of the year in my house is always the last day of summer camp. My children come home, crying big tears and chest-heaving sobs. And what I always say to them is “I know this feels bad, but it just means that you had so much love all summer.”
The saddest day of the year in my house is always the last day of summer camp. My children come home, crying big tears and chest-heaving sobs. And what I always say to them is “I know this feels bad, but it just means that you had so much love all summer.”
Big emotions can
be hard to manage and to know what to do with.
Anger is one of the emotions that has been coming up for me during these
challenging weeks of quarantine, but reading David Whyte’s unpacking of what
anger actually is has been super helpful. He writes:
“ANGER is the
deepest form of compassion, the purest form of care, it always illuminates what
we belong to, what we wish to protect and what we are willing to hazard
ourselves for. What we have named as anger on the surface is the violent outer
response to our own inner powerlessness, a powerlessness connected to such a
profound sense of rawness and vulnerability that it can find no proper identity
or voice, or way of life to hold it. What we call anger is often simply the
unwillingness to live the full measure of our fears or of our not knowing.”
He then writes “Our
anger breaks to the surface most often through our feeling that there is
something profoundly wrong with our powerlessness and vulnerability.” Tantra
teaches that there are no “bad” emotions. Emotions
just are, and when we learn to recognize them when they arise, and pay
attention to what causes them to arise, they simply become another gateway to the
Source. Anger is not wrong, nor is fear or vulnerability or sadness even though they
may be uncomfortable for a time. If you feel any of these strong emotions it is
not a failure, it just means you are human. It’s not that we have strong
feelings, but what we do them that defines who we are. And whether the emotion
is anger, sadness, fear, hurt, joy, compassion, generosity, at the root of all
of it is love.
Yoga gives us the chance to sit and be with the vulnerability and the powerlessness in a safe way. To be with ourselves in our most raw and open state, which we are able to do because we are surrounded by a community that holds the space for us to do that. This remote yet connected way of practicing as we have been online during these weeks of Covid19 gives us an even more unique opportunity - to be in community and yet also alone in the safety of our own homes so we can truly allow ourselves to be vulnerable and befriend our powerlessness.
Yoga gives us the chance to sit and be with the vulnerability and the powerlessness in a safe way. To be with ourselves in our most raw and open state, which we are able to do because we are surrounded by a community that holds the space for us to do that. This remote yet connected way of practicing as we have been online during these weeks of Covid19 gives us an even more unique opportunity - to be in community and yet also alone in the safety of our own homes so we can truly allow ourselves to be vulnerable and befriend our powerlessness.
I see a lot of
people preaching “love over fear” right now.
While on a broad level I do believe that, I also think there is great
danger in the spiritual bypass. It is important to feel all the feels (but also
to let them go when we are able to). Feeling fear doesn’t make you an
unsuccessful yogi. Feeling anger either.
And anyone who tells you they aren’t feeling those things right now is likely not being honest with you, or more likely with themselves. I am feeling those
things, but also feeling grateful, inspired, supported, and loved at the same
time. One doesn’t eclipse the other, and
the most grounded and healthy people I know are the ones who understand this.
I’d like to replace the “love over fear” refrain with the words of Marc Gafni who says: "In a world of outrageous pain, the only response is outrageous love."
I’d like to replace the “love over fear” refrain with the words of Marc Gafni who says: "In a world of outrageous pain, the only response is outrageous love."
