Beauty is the
harvest of presence, the evanescent moment of seeing or hearing on the outside
what largely lives far inside us…
~ David Whyte,
Consolations
I love this: "Beauty is the harvest of presence." As I sat outside one Sunday afternoon listening to the birds, feeling the sweet
air against my face, watching the fall leaves wafting down, seeing people out walking
and my husband pottering in the garden, I felt invited into presence. The world
called me to attend: to see, to hear, to listen, to smell and to feel. Attention reveals the beauty that is always
here. It’s the way we step fully into life, both inner life and outer life.
And yet, our attention is called away by our devices, social media,
distractions all around us that move away from what is happening in this
moment.
Whyte continues…the
eyes, the ears or the imagination suddenly become a bridge between the here and
the there, between then and now, between the inside and the outside; beauty is
the conversation between what we think is happening outside in the world and
what is just about to occur far inside us.
Our yoga and meditation practice is about cultivating presence.
When we get on the mat we are invited to
pay attention to our breath, to the movements, sensations, muscle action and
our inner world which we often miss in our busy, often distracted lives.Practicing on the mat then lends itself to
practice off the mat. Yoga off the mat is about being present with whatever
shows up each day: the easy and the hard. It's about witnessing the outstanding
acts of human kindness and generosity as people step forward to help in big
ways and small. It’s about noticing the wonder and awe of the mystery of this
world.
Let's pay attention to nature
unfolding the season all around us, to humanity's goodness, and to our own
inner strength and beauty as we strive forward with our lives.
Well it's been a minute. I had so much to say about this topic that I decided it needed to exist in the blogosphere. Let's unpack what it means to step out of your comfort zone. The details are
different for everyone, but I think it basically means to not always
default to what’s “easy”. So what’s wrong with being comfortable? Really
nothing. And let's start this whole conversation by saying that if life, as it is wont to do, is pushing you into places of great discomfort, you don’t need to
do anything else, you just need to hold on tight to your faith and go along for
the ride. What I'm talking about here are the ways we become stagnant.Since the universe itself is in a constant
state of process, if we are not participating with it in the ways that we are able to, one day we wake up
and realize we’re stuck. And to get out of that stuck place takes SO much more
effort in the long run.
Consider this a hint if you're coming to my class this week...
The universe
has given us endless ways to know it and experience it and explore its beauty.
But it requires our participation. Stepping out of your CZ means stepping into the
unknown. Whether that’s rock climbing a new route, or hiking a new mountain, or a
going to a new place to vacation, or going on a silent retreat, or joining a new book club, it requires us to be
vulnerable, and that is usually not a comfortable place. It takes faith. Not
blind faith where we go in with eyes closed just praying for the best, but the kind where we follow our hearts and take our heads along for the ride.
The Sanskrit word for faith is shraddha, and one generally accepted translation of that word is "where you place your heart".
In other words, know what you want. And if something that you want is outside of your CZ, know what you are willing to risk to have it. Know your capacities and your limitations and act accordingly. But that is a
razors edge, and there’s no promise that it won’t hurt. Faith is knowing that it won’t hurt so much that you can’t come back
from it. It’s being able to stay connected to what keeps you steady through it all.
Recently I watched the rock climber Adam Ondra sending Silence, the “world’s hardest route”. It literally created a new grade of climb that didn't exist before. It took him hundreds of times and years to do it. Falling off again and again.If he read all those falls as “failure” there is no way
he ever would have done it. Stepping out of our CZ is accepting small “failures” to
figure out how to do it better next time. Failure is a word we use to give
ourselves an out. "Oh, I tried that thing and because it didn’t go exactly as I
wanted it to, it didn’t feel as easy as it “should have”, I can’t do that
thing." And the reality is that maybe you can’t do that thing today, but that
doesn’t mean you’ll never be able to do it. So what are the steps to take so
you can do it in a year? Or 2 years? Tiny victories feed shraddha. Change your
expectation of what progress is. In yoga, for example, if you
can’t do the pose, examine where your inconsistencies are, your tight places,
your self-limiting thoughts and decide what tiny victory you can focus on to
keep moving you forward. Because that’s just it. Life will move you forward
whether you participate or not. So might as well decide what direction you want
to go in.
If you need some inspiration, watch Adam climb this route the whole way through for the first time.
Stepping out of our
CZ tests our faith: can I really do this?Am I meant to do it? Really that’s up to you. Sometimes the answer is
not ever, sometimes it’s just not right now. We are limited beings in some ways
and we are unlimited beings in other ways. We need to be realistic about the
ways we are limited, whether in body or spirit, and face them. But we get to
decide if we want to be connected to the places where we are limited or the places
where we aren’t. It means redefining “failure”. It means falling off a route 100 times before
making the next move. Falling out of an arm balance 1000 times before being able to hold it for a second. Getting a therapist so you can work through your social
anxiety so you can join the book club. It’s not easy or comfortable, and like
my kids love to say, “it’s not fair!”. To which I respond, "who ever told you it
was going to be fair??" It’s not. But we
can either sit by and let life happen to us (ie. stay in stagnant in the CZ) or we can
participate fully in every way we can (step into your light, celebrate tiny victories, hold steady through the challenges life throws at us which we have no control over).
In terms of
our yoga asana practice, we know that the body will always want to go in the path of least
resistance. Our bodies will always choose to do what feels good, and unless we are being very conscious in our practice we will go along with that.Again, nothing innately wrong with doing that, and
sometimes that is just the thing to do - pain is a message that we need to pay attention to something. However, if we always do what we’ve
always done, we always get what we’ve always gotten. Patterns of misalignment which lead
to imbalance and often pain will keep repeating themselves until we create a
new pattern. It's usually not easy and not
comfortable.But we are healthier,
happier, stronger, and more resilient in the long run. It works the same with our thoughts, our emotions, our
hearts. And that's what makes it all yoga - being conscious.
It's fun and interesting out here outside the CZ. It's never boring, always exciting. Join me.
Outside your CZ practices, on the mat:
This week in my classes we will work on caturanga, building strength in our upper body to lean out into arm balances with faith. Here's some other things to work on in your own practice:
Notice when you sit out a pose because it's hard. Instead of sitting it out, try a modified version.
If you've been doing a modified version of a pose for a long time for a specific reason, ask yourself if that reason is still valid. You know what to do if it's not.
Breathe. a lot. If you're scared, breathe deeper.
Pay attention to your habits. Do you come in to the studio and do the same warm-ups every time? Do you strategically stop for a sip of water when a hard pose is called? Are your habits keeping you stagnant?
Get really curious. If you can't do a pose, ask yourself, or your teacher, why?
Celebrate tiny victories in whatever way they come
Outside your CZ practices, off the mat:
Take yourself on a weekly date doing something that scares you. Start small. Bring a friend for support. But do it!
Create a mantra or affirmation that reminds you that stepping outside of your CZ will help you grow as a human. "I can do hard things" works for me.
Get clear with yourself about what risks you are willing to take, and which ones you are not, to have something you want that feels out of your reach.
Add your own in the comments!
For the Anusara junkies:
OTG: Soften
what the word failure means to you. Focus on tiny victories.
What keeps you
steady in times of discomfort? Keep that in the forefront of your awareness
Let each breath
guide you to a place inside of inner reliance, where you feel secure and
connected to a universe that wants for you what you want for yourself
Get comfortable
with “I don’t know” and “All I need to do is participate”
Stop trying to
control your world and participate fully in your life without knowing what the outcome will be
ME: pull to
the midline and pull into what keeps you steady
Pull up and
into your faith/what keeps you steady/your heart
Muscles are
malleable, changeable, bones are not.We
pull SMB (skin to muscle to bone) to connect to all that is already steady inside our bodies
Activate muscles,
participate in the pose fully, in your life fully
Draw SMB, connecting
to a place of wisdom inside so you make smart choices about how to safely step outside your CZ
OE: expand fully
into the pose and expand your CZ
Stretch yourself
fully into the pose and the breath and into active participation with your life
just as it is
Expand from
midline outwards, expanding your faith in yourself and your practice
Shine with the
quiet radiance of the faithful
Smile and enjoy
the pose, even if it’s not easy or comfortable
Celebrate whatever
form of the pose you can do. Celebrate tiny victories that will strengthen you
and move you in the direction you want to be headed.
To be courageous is
not necessarily to go anywhere or do anything except to make conscious those
things we already feel deeply and then to live through the unending vulnerabilities
of those consequences.
~David Whyte,
Consolations
One of the vignettes on One World Stay at Home concert last Saturday
was of a 66 year old retired doctor who has chosen to leave retirment, put her scrubs back on
and return to work at the hospital treating Covid-19 patients.She felt deeply what was in her heart and has
made herself highly vulnerable to the consequences.
Courage is expressed in physical acts like those of all our
frontline essential works who put themselves at risk every day.It is also in the willingness to feel our
hearts deeply: pain, fear, grief, love.To feel and then to act, even if that action is simply getting out of bed
and doing another day at home in lock down.
In Sanskrit the word for heart is Hrdaya.While this refers to
our beating physical hearts, it also refers to the heart of the world, the
essence and core of anything and all things. Yoga teaches us that when we allow
ourselves to rest back in our heart and all that we find therein, we ultimately
rest back in the heart of all things.This
is yoga off the mat, where we connect to all beings through our vulnerability
and willingness to feel.
Allowing ourselves to feel deeply is scary.I find it terrifying.That’s why I love this hand gesture: Abhaya
Hrdaya Mudra or Courageous Heart Gesture.A mudra is a seal, a mark or a gesture, a calling forth of what we
aspire to.I don’t know about you, but I
need a lot of courage these days.
Join me at 12:15 pm today for a FREE meditation on
cultivating our courageous hearts and learn the mudra with me.
Vicissitude. I had to look this word up! It's a good word
for right now. "A change of circumstances or fortune, typically one that
is unwelcome or unpleasant." There is such drastic change of circumstance
happening at the moment; changes that are external to us and not in our
control. And, changes that are internal to us that maybe within our control.David Whyte writes:
Conscious or unconscious, we are surrounded not only by the
vicissitudes of a difficult world but even more by those of our own making.
One way to think about gaining some control over those of
our own making is the map which the philosophical yogic concept of the five Koshas
offers.According to this map, we are
composed of five layers, sheaths, or bodies. Like Russian dolls, each
metaphorical "body" is contained within the next:
Annamaya kosha—the physical body or food body
Pranamaya kosha—the breath or life force body
Manomaya kosha—the mental and emotional body
Vijanamaya kosha—the wisdom body
Anandamaya kosha—the bliss body
Each of these sheaths is impacted by the vicissitudes of our
current situation in different ways.Our
physical bodies might be feeling stress, exhaustion, fight or flight, and so
on. Our energy Pranic body might be feeling short of breath and lacking in vitality. Our mental bodies might be feeling
fear, despair, hope, and so on. We can
take heart from understanding that we are not just one of these sheaths that we
might be indentifying with at a given time.We are all of them.They are all
part of us. And, we are more, for these are all sheaths that cover the essence of the Self, the Atman, the heart of our essential nature.
When we are able to perceive
ourselves as more than a single part, and know that we are an unchanging
essence that lives at the center of all five, we can craft an identity for
ourselves that can enable us to live in the world we find ourselves in without
feeling beset. Rather, we can understand
the parts and through them, understand the whole.
Follow your yoga and meditation practice into the heart and
essence of your identity and find an inner steadiness at the center.You are all of it and all of it is you.
By Rachel Dewan The saddest day
of the year in my house is always the last day of summer camp.My children come home, crying big tears and
chest-heaving sobs. And what I always say to them is “I know this feels bad,
but it just means that you had so much love all summer.”
Big emotions can
be hard to manage and to know what to do with.Anger is one of the emotions that has been coming up for me during these
challenging weeks of quarantine, but reading David Whyte’s unpacking of what
anger actually is has been super helpful. He writes:
“ANGER is the
deepest form of compassion, the purest form of care, it always illuminates what
we belong to, what we wish to protect and what we are willing to hazard
ourselves for. What we have named as anger on the surface is the violent outer
response to our own inner powerlessness, a powerlessness connected to such a
profound sense of rawness and vulnerability that it can find no proper identity
or voice, or way of life to hold it. What we call anger is often simply the
unwillingness to live the full measure of our fears or of our not knowing.”
He then writes “Our
anger breaks to the surface most often through our feeling that there is
something profoundly wrong with our powerlessness and vulnerability.” Tantra
teaches that there are no “bad” emotions. Emotions
just are, and when we learn to recognize them when they arise, and pay
attention to what causes them to arise, they simply become another gateway to the
Source. Anger is not wrong, nor is fear or vulnerability or sadness even though they
may be uncomfortable for a time. If you feel any of these strong emotions it is
not a failure, it just means you are human. It’s not that we have strong
feelings, but what we do them that defines who we are. And whether the emotion
is anger, sadness, fear, hurt, joy, compassion, generosity, at the root of all
of it is love.
Yoga gives us
the chance to sit and be with the vulnerability and the powerlessness in a safe
way. To be with ourselves in our most raw and open state, which we are able to
do because we are surrounded by a community that holds the space for us to do
that. This remote yet connected way of practicing as we have been online during
these weeks of Covid19 gives us an even more unique opportunity - to be in
community and yet also alone in the safety of our own homes so we can truly
allow ourselves to be vulnerable and befriend our powerlessness.
I see a lot of
people preaching “love over fear” right now.While on a broad level I do believe that, I also think there is great
danger in the spiritual bypass. It is important to feel all the feels (but also
to let them go when we are able to). Feeling fear doesn’t make you an
unsuccessful yogi.Feeling anger either.
And anyone who tells you they aren’t feeling those things right now is likely not being honest with you, or more likely with themselves. I am feeling those
things, but also feeling grateful, inspired, supported, and loved at the same
time.One doesn’t eclipse the other, and
the most grounded and healthy people I know are the ones who understand this. I’d like to replace the “love over fear” refrain with the words of Marc Gafni
who says: "In a world
of outrageous pain, the only response is outrageous love."
Everywhere I turn there is fear.Every person, every media channel, every conversation
seems infused with alarm.It is a
fearful time.I’m scared.I’m afraid for the health of my loved ones,
my students, my business.I’m afraid for
our economy, our society, our sense of community if we become isolated.
I know I have a choice.I can let the dread overwhelm me and dictate my actions and
reactions.Sometimes it does.Or, I can use my practices to try and steady
myself so I can make the best choices and respond in the best way I can.
What am I doing to help myself?
· I’m doing yoga at the studio ·I’m meditating each morning ·I’m breathing deep ·I’m taking walks ·I’m living one day at a time
I’m working to remember what I teach: that I am more than my
body, my health and my attachments.I’m inviting peace into myself so that I can
hold space for the Shree community whether we end up practicing at the studio,
at home, or through an online forum.
Let’s use our practices to decrease panic and increase peace
together in the Time of Corona.
With love,
Chaya
p.s. Remember, if you decide to attend public classes at
Shree:
Wash your hands well in the restrooms before entering the studio
Leave “virus talk” outside so Shree can be a place of ease
and peace for all
Bring a hand towel and pillow case to cover the bolster and blankets for
restorative classes
Bring a hand towel to cover blankets, wash cloths to cover
blocks, bring your own props
Weekend classes are often crowded. Come to a weeknight class instead.
Several
years ago I hurt my right hip. I had a bad habit of getting out of my car by
placing my left foot on the ground and then twisting my right leg and
"dragging " it out. Eventually, like all bad habits, it took its
toll. The leg became stiff and, instead of exercising, I favored it. It kept
deteriorating and arthritis stepped in to hasten the decline. I began to walk with a limp. I had terrible
balance; I couldn't stand on either leg long enough to get a pants leg on. After
falling down the stairs because my right leg wouldn't support me, I resigned
myself to going up and down on just my left leg. The leg became even weaker
and, if I could manage to get up out of a chair, I would have to hobble over to
something to lean on and try to straighten it out since it remained bent as if
I were still sitting.
"I imagined my future sitting in a
wheelchair."
What could I do?! I had to fight back! But, how? I couldn't walk or ride a bike. Forget about
going to the gym for more strenuous exercise!
In the spring
of 2018, on my way to a craft store, I saw a YOGA sign. I didn't know anything
about yoga except if I got down on the floor, I was going to have the devil of
a time getting back up. I didn't do anything about it but that YOGA sign kept
"poking" me. Sometimes life truly does give you a “sign”; you just
have to be willing to see it.
By the
time I decided to come to Shree Yoga in Saddle River, NJ that fall, I had no cartilage
in my right hip and I was in pain 24/7. I knew I was facing hip replacement
surgery but wasn't brave enough to deal with that yet. I signed up for, not
one, but two chair yoga classes a week. Of course, yoga couldn't heal my leg; this
isn't a fairy tale. However, it could and
did improve my balance, the strength of my leg, my overall muscle tone,
flexibility and feeling of well-being. Yes, chair yoga! And when I faced my
hip surgery in the summer of 2019, it definitely helped with my recovery and
physical therapy.
To say
that I am grateful to my chair yoga teachers, Susan Walsh and Jan Jeremias, is
an understatement. I cannot thank them
enough for their professionalism, encouragement and support.To date I have had several teachers at Shree
Yoga: Rachel, Terry, Emi and Valerie -- they have all been wonderful. These are people that not only want to
help you learn yoga to the best of their ability but see you as an individual
and honestly care about your welfare.
Recently
I have moved out of my chair classes and into gentle therapeutic and other more
challenging classes. There are things my right leg is never going to do. That's
just the nature of things for me. I
still have a balance "issue"; it doesn't come easily for me. There's
still plenty of room for improvement, but I try to do my best in my classes and
my Shree Yoga teachers are there to help, encourage and support me in my
journey.
"ShreeYoga Studios has made such a wonderful difference in my Life. It has improved
the quality of my life so much for the better; how many things can you say that
about?"
Thank
you for taking the time to read my story. I sincerely hope it makes a
difference and helps someone.
